Navigating ADHD As An Adult

Living with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) often involves navigating a world that doesn't always feel designed for how one's brain works. It can mean facing daily frustrations – feeling overwhelmed by tasks, misunderstood by others, or falling short despite putting in immense effort. Challenges with managing time (sometimes called time blindness), difficulties with executive functions like planning and organization, and intense emotional responses are common experiences. These struggles can lead to significant internal battles with self-doubt and exhaustion.

However, managing ADHD isn't about trying to "fix" a broken part of oneself. Instead, it's a journey towards understanding one's unique neurological wiring and discovering strategies that work with it, not against it. It's about building a personalized toolkit with practical approaches grounded in self-awareness and compassion.

This 8-week article series explores eight such strategies: letting go of shame, mastering time with the Pomodoro Technique, finding focus with body doubling, making calendars an ally, designing personalized trackers, conquering big projects with milestones, fueling motivation with rewards, and lightening the load through delegation and automation. These aren't overnight cures, but sustainable practices that can empower individuals with ADHD to navigate challenges more effectively.

Tip 1: Let Go of Shame, Embrace Self-Compassion

The Weight of Shame in ADHD

For many individuals with ADHD, feelings of shame, inadequacy, and low self-esteem can become persistent companions. This heavy burden often stems from the chronic frustration of grappling with ADHD symptoms daily. Perceived failures in areas like organization, time management, or emotional regulation can lead to harsh self-judgment. Furthermore, societal stigma and misunderstanding surrounding ADHD can exacerbate these feelings. When others misinterpret symptoms as laziness, lack of intelligence, or carelessness, or when individuals face constant criticism from teachers, parents, or even themselves, it's easy to internalize these negative messages.

This is particularly true when ADHD goes undiagnosed or is misunderstood, as is often the case for women, whose symptoms may present differently from the stereotypical hyperactive boy model. Women may internalize their struggles with societal expectations around organization or multitasking, leading to feelings of inadequacy rather than recognizing the neurological basis for their challenges. The feelings of shame often associated with ADHD aren't inherent to the condition itself. Rather, they frequently arise from the friction between the unique ways the ADHD brain works—like challenges with executive functions or emotional regulation—and an environment that may not understand or accommodate these differences. Persistent frustration, societal stigma, or criticism can lead to internalizing these struggles as personal failings.

The Antidote: Cultivating Self-Compassion

The most powerful antidote to this cycle of shame and self-criticism is self-compassion. This means treating oneself with the same kindness, understanding, and patience that would be offered to a dear friend facing similar struggles. It's not about making excuses for difficulties but about acknowledging the reality of ADHD challenges without resorting to harsh self-judgment. It involves recognizing that ADHD is a valid neurodevelopmental disorder and that the associated struggles are not a reflection of one's inherent worth.

Embracing self-compassion is an active process. It involves offering oneself kindness during difficult moments, consciously working to reframe negative self-talk, and seeking out supportive connections where experiences are validated.

Actionable Steps Towards Self-Compassion:

• Acknowledge and Validate Feelings: When frustration or overwhelm hits, pause and recognize the feeling without judgment. Speak kindly to that struggling part of oneself, validating the difficulty. For instance, one might think, "I see that starting this task feels overwhelming right now, and that must be stressful. Let's just try one small step".

• Challenge the Inner Critic: Become aware of negative self-talk patterns, such as thoughts like "I'm not good at this," "I always mess up," or "Why am I like this?" Understand that multiple positive affirmations can neutralize the impact of a single negative thought. Actively challenge these critical thoughts by reframing them in a more realistic, balanced, and positive light.

• Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection: Shift the focus away from achieving flawless outcomes, which can be an unrealistic and damaging standard given the variability often inherent in ADHD functioning. Instead, acknowledge and take pride in forward movement, no matter how small. Value the effort invested and the steps accomplished correctly, even if the end result isn't perfect. Focusing only on missteps can be incredibly demoralizing. This focus on progress aligns better with the nature of ADHD and helps break the cycle where inconsistent performance leads to feelings of failure and shame.

• Practice Mindfulness: Pay attention to thoughts and feelings as they arise, without harsh judgment or criticism. This practice can cultivate greater self-awareness and acceptance.

• Find Your Tribe: Connect with others who understand the ADHD experience. Joining support groups (like those offered by CHADD) or online communities (such as ADDitude's ADHD-related groups) can provide a safe space for acceptance and understanding. Sharing struggles openly with empathetic peers can be a powerful antidote to shame and isolation.

• Prioritize Needs: Recognize that basic physical, emotional, and cognitive needs – like adequate sleep, rest, nutrition, and time for self-care – are not luxuries or rewards to be earned only after achieving productivity goals. They are fundamental necessities for well-being and effective functioning. Denying these needs often hinders performance rather than helping to push through tasks. Everyone is worthy of having their basic needs met.

  
  

Resources for Self-Compassion:

• ADDitude Magazine - Shame Spiral & Self-Compassion Strategies: https://www.additudemag.com/shame-spiral-adhd-stigma-self-worth/

• ADDitude Magazine - Rules for Life (Progress, Praise, Inner Critic): https://www.additudemag.com/25-rules-life-how-to-be-successful-with-adhd/

• GoblinX ADHD - Understanding ADHD and Self-Esteem: https://www.goblinxadhd.com/blog/living-with-adhd-and-navigating-the-impact-on-self/

• Psychology Today - Understanding ADHD in Women and Feelings of Inadequacy: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/reports-from-the-front-lines/202401/the-unseen-spectrum-understanding-adhd-in-women , https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/empowered-with-adhd/202501/how-adhd-manifests-differently-in-women

This is the first of eight articles on this topic. Please follow this newsletter on LinkedIn and share comments and questions.

Stop Reacting, Start Planning

Developing a Long-Term Purpose for Your Small Business

Only 25% of small business owners outsource key business activities like marketing, IT, bookkeeping, legal, strategic planning, people development, and customer services. Many small business owners think they cannot afford to hire experts to help them grow their business. They put off hiring a virtual assistant, bookkeeper, lawyers, marketing and IT specialist, or business coach. American Express reports concerns around the time it takes to find and onboard the right help, privacy concerns, fear of losing control, and uncertainty around expense as the primary reasons more small businesses do not outsource key activities. Lack of planning how to leverage outside resources puts 75% of small businesses at a disadvantage because they are not leveraging talent outside their organization.

Hesitation to seek professional help can become a bottleneck in small business growth. Your business has strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. The more time your company can spend focused on its strengths, the stronger it can be. One of the best ways for you and your employees to spend more time within your strengths is by outsourcing weaknesses and low-value tasks to vendors and contractors outside your company. Finding the proper support can help you reduce costs and improve business performance. It all starts with developing a plan for expanding the capabilities of your company.

Start planning

Three years ago, a small business owner reached out to Your Path Coaching and Consulting because he was frustrated by the amount of net profit he was generating. When we started working together, he had been in business for 10 years and had run a successful business, but he felt he was working too hard for the money he was earning. At the time, he was managing much of his business on impulse. He occasionally developed long-term plans for his company but struggled to stick to those plans. Problems would arise. He would address them, but in the process, he would lose sight of the long-term goals he was striving to accomplish. His business's strength was in providing outstanding service to his customers. The business's weakness at the time was prioritization and strategic consistency. He knew he could drive profitable growth if he could get help clarifying key objectives and improving personal and team accountability, so he brought us in to help him put processes and systems in place to improve business operations.

Define your purpose

One of the first things small business owners should do is get clear on the purpose of their business. Understanding your business's purpose is essential because time is the scarcest resource. There are many ways to make money, but only a few align with your business's strengths. That is because your business's strengths are a mix of your employees, values, goals, experiences, processes, and ability to work together towards a shared goal. No other business is exactly like yours, and you maximize your business's value and impact when you can identify your business's niche. Declaring your business's purpose will help you attract the right talent, which will better position you to maximize the value you can provide clients. Providing exceptional customer value is the strongest differentiator you can create, and positions you for profitable growth.

Set goals that align with your purpose

The next action a business owner must take is to define their goals and align them with the business's purpose. Your business purpose is aspirational and will change over time as your business's capabilities expand and grow. The University of Massachusetts teaches that taking the time to convert your purpose into goals will

• Motivate your employees because they will understand what is important.

• Help employees work together because they will better understand what is important to you.

• Can improve accountability by giving you a way to measure progress.

• Help you quantify success.

• Bring more fulfillment to employees by assisting them in seeing how their contribution helps the great organization.

 Failure to set goals can create an environment where your employees are unfocused, misaligned, and unmotivated. Being clear on what you are measuring provides certainty to employees about where they should be focusing their time and the company's money and resources.

Building your current situation analysis (CSA)

Beyond purpose and goals, business owners need to understand the macro and micro environments in which they operate. Crafting a situational analysis means taking the time to understand customer needs, competition, industry trends, environmental factors, current products and services, and your supply chain. All of these factors will influence what types of products and services customers are looking for and their willingness to pay for solutions. Business owners can analyze their current situation by answering these questions.

Consider your competition:  

• What products do they sell?

• Who are their clients?

• How do they market to them?

• What are their strengths?

• What are their weaknesses?

Consider your customers:

• Who are the most loyal?

• Who purchases the most services?

• How did they find your business?

• What needs do they have that your business could serve?

• What would cause them to stop purchasing from you?

Consider your business:

• Who is on the team? 

• What do they do well?

• Who is most engaged?

• What gaps does the business have that need to be filled?

• How could the team be more productive?

By getting this information on paper, you can better understand the business's strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. This information can inform the development of a strategy focused on capabilities and market opportunities while being mindful of risk and uncertainty. Nothing in business is certain until you take action, so the primary focus of building your current situation analysis is to help you slow down, take in information, think critically, and make informed decisions about how you spend time, money, and resources.

Converting purpose into profits

Circling back to the business owner I mentioned earlier.  We followed the abovementioned process to develop a SWOT analysis, Balanced Scorecard, and began using a continuous improvement process to improve business performance. The SWOT allowed us to identify marketing and operational opportunities; the Balance Scorecard helped us to identify goals for improving financial, customer, process, and employee development objectives. The continuous improvement process provided us with a framework for testing new ideas, implementing them, and learning from the experience. 

As a result of the business planning and our ongoing cadence of meetings, the business owner achieved many of his business goals ahead of schedule. He has grown revenue by 30% over the last 2 years and achieved his 3-year earnings goal a year ahead of schedule. When asked what the most significant benefit the business owner has gained from coaching is, he said, "Keeping me focused on the goals I've set for my company". It is one thing to have a purpose. It is another to bring that purpose to life. Running a business is challenging. Especially when you do not have the proper support. Making time to clarify your business strategy, outsourcing low-value tasks, and seeking experts to help you grow can unlock your business's potential and help you accelerate your business growth.

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Your Partner in Business Success

I'm not just a writer; I'm also a father, husband, executive coach, and former retail executive. My 21 years of experience leading operations, sales, and marketing teams have given me firsthand knowledge to position me to help you grow your business.

We offer personalized coaching and consulting services to empower you at every stage of business growth. Our expertise includes:

Executive Coaching: Guiding leaders to enhance their leadership skills, communication abilities, and team dynamics.

Business Consulting: Helping organizations optimize strategies, foster growth, and build high-performing teams.

Career Coaching: Assisting individuals in defining a career path and building the skills, network, and competencies needed to maximize their potential.

Our holistic approach combines proven techniques with a deep understanding of your needs and aspirations.

Connect with us:

Website: www.yourpathexecutivesolutions.com

Email: dcunion@yourpathexecutivesolutions.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/your-path-coaching-and-consulting

A Guide to Delegating Effectively

Every business leader knows they need to delegate to achieve better results. The problem comes when leaders try to move from thought to action. Their beliefs about themselves, their team, and the work they are trying to accomplish prevent them from letting go of tasks and trusting others to do work they have traditionally completed. This resistance to delegation slows growth, creates workflow bottlenecks, and negatively impacts company performance.

What should a leader do?

Delegation is a skill. Like all skills, starting small and building up to more difficult tasks is best as you gain mastery. Leaders frequently get frustrated with the delegation process because they start it with the wrong mindset. They are accustomed to performing tasks at a high level and expect perfect results the first time they delegate a task. The reality is that most people do not do tasks perfectly the first time they attempt them. As a leader, you must learn to delegate effectively, and your employee or contractor must learn through practice how to do the task to your expectations. The more you delegate, the better you will get, and the more your employee does the task, the better they will perform, provided that you have a system for delegation.

How do you start?

The Power6 Leader program teaches the ACES system of delegation. ACES stands for Assess, Communication, Empower, and Support. This four-step approach to delegation reduces uncertainty and provides a systematic method for evaluating employees and tasks, setting expectations, building trust, and ensuring that employee competency is built over time.

How to assess tasks to be delegated?

To help you get started, we have developed this worksheet to help you assess the tasks you should be delegating and the people you should be delegating those tasks to.

Download this tool, read the instructions, and email Dorian Cunion if you have any questions about how to use it. dcunion@yourpathexecutivesolution.com

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